Author: Steven A. Melnick

Bonaire—A Diver’s Paradise

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 2 Comments

I spent a week on the island of Bonaire just off the coast of Venezuela.  The scuba diving was spectacular.  I went with Tim Schaeffer who not only was one of my former fourth grade pupils more than 40 years ago but has become a trusted friend and dive buddy.  I marvel at his patience with some of the “rookie” mistakes I made and his thoughtful guidance, gentle hand in making corrections, and concern for my safety and well being.  I will treasure these trips and hope more are to come.

Bonaire is an interesting island.  Brenda Yorke (http://www.h2ovisionsbonaire.com), a resident of Bonaire and long-time friend of Tim’s, kindly gave me a very informative tour of the island and pointed out many interesting cultural and archeological points of interest (more to come with pics in a future post).  Many thanks to Brenda.

The local language, Papiamentu–spoken on Bonaire and Curaçao, is a creole language (a language that develops naturally by simplifying and mixing multiple languages into one).  It is mostly Portuguese with a lot of Spanish and Dutch mixed in with likely influences from the early native Antillians that inhabited the island prior to the Spanish occupation in 1499.  The island has a tropical arid climate and it’s landscape is pretty much limestone mountains and cactus.  Flamingoes abound on the island.  A nice Trivial Pursuit item is that Pink Flamingos are born with white feathers and gain their pink hue as a result of the diet they eat.  I shudder to think what color I’d be based on my diet !!!

Taken from my best side…

But, as a diver, you couldn’t ask for a better place to dive.  You are free to shore dive anywhere you like, grab you tanks and gear and simply walk into the water.  Now that’s diving freedom.  During the week I was there, however, we went out boat diving to designated sites around both the island of Bonaire and Klein Bonaire (Little Bonaire).  Since we were the only two divers staying at the resort, we had the entire 18-person dive boat to ourselves–in addition to the guiding hand of two excellent dive masters, Sherman and Lou.  Both dive masters were patient, kept the dives within my capabilities, and pointed out whatever there was to see along the way.

Getting gear ready to jump out of a perfectly good boat…

The dive boats (and all others) are only allowed to stop at designated mooring buoys in order to protect the coral reefs from the damage of anchors and chains.  There is a gentle sloping bottom to about 30-40 feet deep that is sandy bottom about 30-100 feet out from shore.  Then it sharply drops off to a bottom somewhere around 200-250 feet (or…to Infinity and Beyond).  Light doesn’t penetrate more than 200 feet in water so looking down was like looking into the dark abyss!  From about 60 feet and up, the water is almost clear (a little sediment kicked up by winds a few days) and fish galore–they seem to have no fear of humans and several swam over to check me out.  Thankfully, the barracuda simply stayed away cautiously eyeballing us.  I have little doubt they wondered if we were crunchy on the outside; chewy on the inside.  Other than one turtle and a green moray, we didn’t see much in the way of big critters, but the small colorful ones were enough for me.  At one point, we were surrounded by a school of coal black fish (fish identification is on my list of things to learn) who allowed us to swim lazily along with them for several minutes totally surrounding me.  It only takes one dive to realize how truly insignificant we humans are in the greater realm of things on earth and what a privilege it is for the sea critters to allow us to share their world.  I don’t know why I didn’t start diving years ago.

Pasa un bon dia, my friends !

 

SCUBA Diving with Tim…

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 3 Comments

When I left you I was but the learner. Now, I am the master!  …Tim Schaeffer (actually, Darth Vader said it, but it applies here !)

 

I recently had an extraordinary experience that I suppose few former teachers can boast.  As many of you know, I started my career as a 4th grade classroom teacher in the public schools before heading to the university for many years.  My first ten years as an educator were spent teaching 10-year olds, a simply delightful age where children are really fun to be around and they are consumed with curiosity about everything.  Elementary teachers play an important role in a child’s development but, typically, as students go through their school years, the teachers they remember most as adults are their high school teachers.  It’s only natural to remember the most recent rather than someone from your early years.

I am quite pleased to be “friends” with a number of my former elementary students on Facebook and gladly welcome more.  It’s always interesting to see how they are doing, what careers they chose, find out about their families, where they settled, etc.  I enjoy hearing from them directly and reading about their current lives on Facebook posts.

Over the past year or so I have taken up scuba diving and have earned my Advanced Open Water certification.  As it turns out, one of my former elementary students, Tim Schaeffer, is a scuba diver with hundreds of dives under his belt and has earned the very difficult certification level of Rescue Diver.  With more than 200 dives under his belt, he is far more advanced than I (see quote above !). We are friends on Facebook so I asked him for some advice on what equipment I should consider buying.  Keep in mind the last time I saw Tim he was knee high to a grasshopper and but 10-years old.  In short, it had been over 40 years since I talked to him last !!!  As a member of the scuba diving community, he understood my excitement at being able to explore the last frontier on planet Earth.  He was very forthcoming about the good, the bad, and the ugly of scuba equipment and I was glad for the advice.

More so, however, I was thrilled at his invitation to dive with him and we made plans to go to Cozumel, Mexico and scuba dive some of the beautiful waters and coral reefs there.  Imagine for a moment all your past elementary school teachers.  Is there any one of them you would imagine scuba diving with–or doing any other such activity for that matter?  Needless to say, I was flattered.  We made plans, coordinated our flights such that we’d meet in Miami and fly together from Miami to Cozumel.  We rented a condo on AirBnB (it was really, really nice, spotlessly clean, and centrally located within walking distance of everything downtown). 

So the first time in more than 40 years, I saw Tim was in an airport bar in Miami !  My how he’d grown …  We started chatting with the ease of old friends in spite of the 40 years that had gone by, our difference in age, and that I had been his teacher.  We took a few trips down memory lane and caught up on each other’s lives in the intervening years.  I didn’t feel it was awkward in the least.  The conversation was with an ease as if we had been good friends and talked regularly over the years.

While diving, I had a bit of a mishap that required some medical attention.  Tim simply took over and took care of all of the arrangements making sure that I was well taken care of and contacted my son and wife.  I will be forever grateful beyond words.  (You’ll need to share a six-pack with me to hear the whole story). In spite of this little episode, the week in Cozumel was beyond description.  We ate, we drank, we partied, we talked, we laughed.  I couldn’t have asked for a better experience.  Amazingly, in spite of my medical diversion, he wants to do it again!  We are planning a dive trip to the Dutch island of Bonaire in the southern Caribbean for the end of February/early March (assuming Bonaire lets USA citizens in at that time).  Bonaire is a diver’s paradise with stunning dive opportunity and will be a beautiful place for me to dive and improve my skill levels.

I am touched that Tim wants to do it again even though I am many years his senior.  I still picture the little 10-year old boy I had in my classroom.  He has the same mischievous smile and fun-loving attitude.  I thoroughly enjoyed having him as a student.  As an adult, he is a caring, gentle soul and I am proud of the man he has become.  I feel privileged to have spent time with him and look forward to more such trips in the future.

Merry Christmas to all.  Please wear your mask.

 

Scuba Diving in Costa Rica (w/pics)

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 1 Comment

I spent part of my time here in Costa Rica SCUBA diving. When I started talking about getting certified to SCUBA dive, my wife was less than enthused. She said something to the effect of, “Are you nuts? You’re going to be 70 years old in a couple of years.” I said, “I hate to break the news, but I’m going to be 70 years old in a couple of years whether I SCUBA dive or not !” I was extremely careful about seeing our family doctor and every medical specialist I routinely see to make sure they saw no issues. They proclaimed me a picture of health. I did not see my dentist (sorry, Hugh). All gave me the green light health-wise and saw no reason I couldn’t SCUBA dive. So…

I did the online classroom work and the initial pool classes/dives back Virginia in September. I did the required four open water dives in West Palm Beach, Florida at the Blue Heron Bridge to complete my PADI Open Water Diver Certification under the watchful eyes of Donna and Dick Barret, certified instructors, and received my PADI Open Water card. But since I was coming to Costa Rica anyway to escape the colder north, I decided to bring my dive gear along and made arrangements to complete the Advanaced Open Water dives here in the warmer waters of the Pacific. As before, I did the classroom requirements online, provided the statements from my doctors, and off we went into the Pacific Ocean with Rich Coast Diving in Playas del Coco under the watchful eye of Samantha Waters, instructor extraordinaire. I learned so much from Donna, Dick and Samantha and will be forever grateful for their guidance and patience.

The Advanced Open Water consists of five required dives which I explained in a previous post (Underwater Navigation, Deep Dive–100 feet), and three electives. I’ve always been a water rat and SCUBA was an itch I had to scratch before I reached the point in life where I had to dive using a walker !!!

I took a few pictures during one of the elective dives (Underwater Digital Photography) and I have much yet to learn about taking good pictures underwater. Totally different circumstances for good shots underwater than on dry land. My dive buddy, George Kieffer, and my instructor (Samantha) also took some photos with my camera. So, make no mistake, the good shots were taken by them !

Here’s a few pictures to give you a taste of my dives. Surprisingly, because it was very windy, the visibility was only about 15-20 feet. Also, the area we were diving in is volcanic so much of the background is volcanic black rock instead of colorful coral reefs. Nonetheless, I learned a lot, met new people from around the world (England, Germany, and Los Angeles–that’s a different country, right?) and had a ball.

I will be diving again in the Bahamas in April and will spend nine days in Cozumel in May with two dives a day from the boat and unlimited shore dives (i.e., waddle into the water like a penguin from shore).

Enjoy the pics … going from left to right, that’s me, me ascending from the depths, a puffer fish with me way in the background, a less than friendly eel that wasn’t too happy to see us, sea urchins, and a round ray lying in wait.

The Kindness of Others …

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 1 Comment

“You cannot do kindness too soon, as you never know how soon it will be too late.“ …Ralph Waldo Emerson

Traveling provides the opportunity to see new sights, meet new people, and experience different cultures and languages.  By far, meeting new people from all over the world ranks high. I have met people from at least a dozen countries in my short stay in Costa Rica.  Many just stay a few days, but some are here for one or two weeks and, seeing them around this small, boutique hotel everyday, prompts many pleasant conversations.  A guest from Germany, who I chatted with daily, left the hotel yesterday. As he was leaving, I noticed he had a ukulele case slung over his shoulder.

I said, “Andre, I didn’t realize you played the ukulele.” and I then told him my tale of woe with the ukulele.  As I’ve written before on a Facebook post, I said, “I play the piano. It’s got 88 keys. The ukulele has but 4 strings — how hard could it be to learn?  To this day, I have yet to be able to even tune the damn thing.”  

Andre laughed and immediately handed me the ukulele case from his shoulder.  He said, “Here, take this as my gift to you.” I, of course, resisted his offer but he was rather insistent that he wanted to give it to me.  He said he has a couple of ukuleles and this is one of his favorites. He said he really wanted me to have it as a gift from him. He said, “When you learn to play it, remember me!”  How could I refuse and I accepted his kind gift.

I was touched not only by his generosity and kindness but also that he gave me “his favorite.”  I will give learning it another try, much to my wife’s dismay no doubt but probably to Andre’s delight, and each time I learn a new tune I will remember Andre from Germany with fondness.

Interestingly, Andre spoke no English just two years ago but made up his mind to learn the language.  Today his English is quite conversational — I wish my German and Spanish were as good. His quest now is to become conversational in Spanish.  While in Costa Rica he was able to make progress toward that goal and is now heading to Argentina for four (I think) weeks to immerse himself even more in Spanish.  Andrea is about 50 years old, recently retired, and obviously putting his retirement time to good use. I have no doubt that he will achieve his goal to become multi-lingual.

Best wishes to Mein Freund, Andre, und vielen Dank für Ihr freundliches Geschenk der Ukulele.

Hotel In The Shade — Tamarindo, Costa Rica

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 2 Comments

Right now, I am spending the month of February in Tamarindo, Costa Rica — mostly to get away from winter but also to complete the required SCUBA dives for my PADI Advanced Open Water certification. I have completed six dives over three days at Playas del Coco last week (about an hour from Tamarindo). Two required dives are (1) Deep Dive of 100 feet (think Marianas Trench) and (2) Underwater Navigation (just you, a compass, and the fishies — along with your dive buddy and instructor, of course). Elective dives included (3) Underwater Digital Photography, (4) Advanced Buoyancy Control, and (5 and 6) Search and Recovery. The staff and instructors at Rich Coast Diving in Playas del Coco were extraordinary. Highly skilled and very safety conscious. It was a very pleasant experience and I added another “notch” to my PADI certification belt.

The gem at the heart of my month-long stay, however, is finding the Hotel In The Shade in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. A boutique hotel with 16 rooms, it is new, clean, and safe (walled in, combination lock on the gates) and is within walking distance of virtually everything. The pool you see in the picture above has just been constructed this year and is a wonderful place to cool off after a hot day of walking downtown and on the beautiful beach. Dennis does an outstanding job of maintaining the pool along with his other duties.

The staff at the hotel are amazing. The manager, assistant manager, and receptionist (Vanina, Oriana, and Anna), the breakfast cooks (Benél and Greggorio), the house maids (Yahaira and Lisbeth), and the maintenance man (Dennis) are the most pleasant and accommodating group you could hope to find. The owner (Viktor) has assembled a fine team of people who are warm, friendly, professional and very customer service oriented. I am enjoying my stay in Tamarindo in no small measure due to the very pleasant interactions with the staff.

The hotel is in a quiet and safe area of Tamarindo away from all the commotion of the party crowd downtown. With three nice restaurants right next door, you barely need to the leave the immediate area except for the walks on the beach. Peace and tranquility abound. It is the perfect place to write, edit some audio files for my latest audiobook narration, and simply chill out away from the winter cold.

One of the unexpected side benefits has been the variety of guests who have come and gone during my stay so far. Naturally, folks from the USA and Canada comprise a large portion, however, I have met and talked with people from Germany, The Netherlands, Estonia, Venezuela, El Salvador, England, and Columbia to name just a few. It is truly a cosmopolitan group and has been a pleasure to learn some of their stories.

I recommend it highly !!!

Cuba–The Land Down Under

~ Steven A. Melnick

Only 90 miles from our shores, Cuba might as well be half a world away.  It is a beautiful island known for its fine cigars, rum, and coffee.  I have sampled two of the three.  I went on a three hour walking tour of Old Havana.  The centuries old Spanish architecture is evident.  Sadly, many of the buildings are run down but the government has recently permitted foreign investment that has refurbished some of the grand old hotels in the area and they are beautifully done.  Many are owned by the government as are many businesses.  With welcoming outdoor cafe areas, I imagine it would be a nice place to spend a few weeks to explore the country side and get to know some of the Cuban people. 

Alas, however, we were not permitted to spend any money at any of those places.  We could only patronize shops owned and operated by local people, not the government.  Prohibited not by the Cuban government but rather by the United States government.  We were told by the tour guide that approximately 57% of Cuba’s annual budget goes directly to the military.  As a result, the USA reasons that spending money at government owned establishments directly funds the Cuban military and therefore the US government bans Americans from spending money that supports the military.  Sadly, we walked by beautiful establishments that would have been wonderful to sit, sip a brew and watch the world go by.

Dancing in the Streets Outside One of Hemingway’s Many Purported Hangouts

The people of Cuba couldn’t be more welcoming.  I marvel at how friendly and happy they seem to be even under the weight of a socialist regime.  As a rare political side note by me, people in the United States would be far less enthralled by socialism if they actually saw the result of such a system in person.  It’s heart-breaking.  The military has such a stranglehold on everything that the people are powerless to force change.  At one time, Cuba supplied 90% of the world’s sugar.  Last year they had to import sugar because of the flight by farmers to the cities looking for jobs.  Few want to farm anymore; the government takes anywhere from 60-75% of the milk, meat, and crops the farmers produce.  There is no incentive to be a producer.   

Because of the flight from the farms to the cities, when the Soviet Union fell and the flow of aid ceased, the people of Cuba starved.  During the 1990s famine spread across the country and epidemics were rampant.  For a people just 90 miles south of the United States, I don’t understand how we could standby and do nothing to help.  Sure some sanctions were lifted and private organizations had permission to send supplies but surely the United States should have been more compassionate and humane during that crisis.  The recent chaos of the socialist government in Venezuela, another Cuban ally, has further exacerbated the situation in Cuba.  

Cuba has a troubled and complicated history that is hard to fathom in just a three hour tour.  But there is little doubt in my mind that the efforts of the United States to put pressure on the Castro regime has done little more than oppress the wonderful people of Cuba.  Food for the average Cuban is rationed; our guide told us he is allowed to purchase 5 eggs per month for each person in his family–he has a wife and two small children–do the math.  He showed us his ration card where his food purchases limited, tallied after each purchase, and must be kept within his allotment.  On the other hand, the military hardly feels the pinch as they take what they need, eat well, and military personnel earn TWICE the wage as private citizens (if private citizens can even find jobs).  In 2017, the National Bureau of Statistics and Information reported the average Cuban earned the equivalent of $29 per month.  One woman said, “If you buy food you can not buy clothes, if you buy clothes you can not eat, we live every day thinking about how to come up with ways survive,”  Many survive either by stealing from the government or by receiving “remittances” from relatives who live abroad (which are taxed by the government !).

All things considered, I was glad I went.  Each trip abroad gives me a better perspective of how fortunate we are in the United States.  Inevitably, I feel for the people of countries like Cuba.  I repeatedly hear people for a number of countries I have visited say, “We love the American people, we just can’t stand your government.”  Sad.

Turning to cigars and rum:  I bought a box of Cohiba Robustos and a bottle of Havana Club rum–both recommended by the tour guide as the best the country has to offer.  In all honesty, a Dominican Dunhill, Davidoff, Macanudo, or Rocky Patel (particularly with Connecticut shade tobacco wrappers) are superior to Cuban Cohibas.  Nicaraguan Flor de Cana 18 year rum is far and away much smoother than Havana Club rum.  

In short, I would love to go back to Cuba and continue conversations with the Cuban people, but don’t need to go for cigars or rum !

Turning The Page To Our Next Chapter …

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 3 Comments

Our Little Cottage at Hotel Gardenia

We’ve spent the past three winters in Florida (north-central) and found the local people and travelers we met along the way to be wonderful, kind, caring folks. We will miss them immensely. However, the itch to travel more was not being scratched in Florida. With a McDonald’s on every corner, we’ve become bored and yearn to go back to traveling internationally where there is a diversity of cultures, language (although I heard some pretty good language in Florida that could make an offshore oil rigger blush) and customs. Thus, we have divested ourselves of our “holdings” in Florida and are now “…on the road again” (many thanks to Willie Nelson).

View From Our Front Door

Currently, we are in Tamarindo, Costa Rica for six days. This trip is exploratory as we are looking for options to spend next winter somewhere in the area. Clear blue skies, 95 degree (F) days, and some of the most spectacular beaches and conservation areas in the world draw us back here in winter.

As always, renting a car in Costa Rica is an exercise in getting your bank account raped but we knew what to expect this time.  Since we’re only here for six days, the car rental was ONLY as much as our lodging !!!  But, for longer stays, and since I’ve driven in Costa Rica before, it is the best way to see the sites.  If you are new to the driving habits of Ticos and staying only for a short time, spend the money for a tour driver.  You’ll be glad you did.

More when it happens….

I ran over my wife … really.

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 13 Comments

I debated about writing this but decided to post it so I don’t have to tell the story multiple times to each of the people I know…

First, the Good News …

My sister-in-law, Pat, came to visit us from Michigan while we are in Northern Virginia.  We had a series of tourist-type things planned in the Washington DC area including a Segway Tour of the National Mall so Pat could see as much as we could squeeze in during her visit (Smithsonian, Capitol Building, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, White House grounds, etc.).  Sunday was the Segway tour, Monday a trip to Mount Vernon, and Tuesday was a tour of the White House (no Donald in sight) with a few other stops planned over the weekend.

The Segway was a three hour tour (that should have been a tip-off right there–no island in sight though), a little tricky getting balanced on the Segway initially but after a brief demo and some practicing, the tour group of eight was ready to roll.  Heide and I followed in line with me being last of the eight and Heide right in front of me.  Those little suckers can do about 15 miles per hour so they really zip along the sidewalks and we covered a lot of ground.

…And now the BAD news

As we neared the end of the tour, there were some pedestrians on the sidewalk strolling three abreast and Heide swerved to go around them.  Unfortunately, her left wheel drop off the edge of the side walk (about 2-3 inch drop), she lost her balance and fell off the Segway.  I was riding right behind her.  I could not swerve or stop quickly enough to avoid hitting her and ran right over one or both of her legs as she lay there on the ground.

In the end, neither Heide nor I can remember which leg I hit.  It’s quite possible the fall broke her left leg as there is a tire-track bruise on her right leg but we can’t be certain.  “Honest, your Honor,  it was an accident!”

In the end, her left leg is broken just below the knee and two bones in her left ankle are also broken.  The doctor believes the bones are in proper alignment and will likely not require surgery. She is in the hospital and they have her wrapped in a soft, full-leg cast for the time being.

Because we are currently staying in a townhouse with three floors (i.e., STEPS) and the 3.5 bathrooms all showers in tubs rather than shower stalls, it was decided by the doctors and physical therapy folks that it would be safer for her not to go directly home from the hospital.  They swear they aren’t trying to keep her away from me !!!

She is not permitted to put any weight whatsoever on the leg and with the townhouse layout, she will be spending at least the next three weeks in a rehabilitation hospital here in Northern Virginia.  I will transfer her later today to the rehabilitation hospital.

The doctor has prescribed morphone for Heide’s pain and Scotch for my guilt….

Florida: Fine Art and Smoked Mullet

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 1 Comment

Fine Art and Smoked Mullet

What one has to do with the other was a mystery but you have to admit it’s an interesting combination–fine art and smoked mullet (a fish of some sort that’s been smoked).  As we travel we look for the local restaurants, pubs, and unusual places–we can see a McDonald’s anywhere but a treasure like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.  We’ve been staying in Florida this year and have no international trips planned until later this year (late summer/early fall) so we’ve been exploring north central Florida.  The other day we took a drive out to Cedar Key–about 45 minutes from us.  Nice drive for most of the trip then the road turns boring as it flattens and straightens out like a ribbon to the coast.  

The bustling metropolis of Cedar Key (population 706) is primarily a tourist area.  Lots of little craft and antique shops along with the predictable array of shell shops and other chotzkies.  If you like to browse, there’s plenty of options down the main street.  But what caught our interest the most was a sign that said “Fine Art and Smoked Mullet.”  If nothing else, it causes you to ponder what one has to do with the other.  Curiosity got the best of us so we followed the arrow …

Once off the main street, there were no other signs as we wended our way through the side streets of suburban Cedar Key.  As we came across the above on a back street we knew we had found the world headquarters of “Fine Art and Smoked Mullet.”  Although unoccupied and clearly no business within, the fine art was evident on the roof and sides.  The “mullet” in the middle has a body made of a 1/2 bushel basket and other assorted odd parts.  The bathing beauty is…well, a sight to behold.  Someone was clearly high on something when this creation was made.  Better yet, the town apparently hasn’t bothered to remove the sign in years.  I doubt it will ever be on the National Register of Historic Places, but who knows?  Only in Florida !

It will be hard to top this in our travels, but we’ll keep looking.  I think a poster-sized reprint of this photo would look good on our living wall but Heide, thankfully, has more taste !   

For those of you who want the true experience, a few close-ups for detail…

Beach Babe–Fine Art

Rooster Critter w/Shovel for Snow–Fine Art

Mullet–Not sure this is smoked but the guy who put it up certainly had to be.

 

Auto Train Heaven … Could I possibly have been wrong ?

~ Steven A. Melnick ~ 3 Comments

Previously, after our December 2016 Auto Train trip in Business Class, I described riding the Auto Train as Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell.  On December 27 this year,  we decided to give it another try with a few very important tweaks.  I have to admit this experience was significantly better than our previous two fiascoes and has changed my mind about the Auto Train.  My apologies to Amtrak !

Over the years, we have booked a (1) Superliner Bedroom (with private bath), (2) Business Class seats, and  (3) Superliner Roomette (no private bath).  The Superliner Bedroom and the Superliner Roomette provide complete privacy with a lockable door.  All classes receive dinner in the dining car at your appointed time–there’s usually about 3-4 different time slots you can sign up for–we always take the earliest as they often run late on subsequent dinner times.  A little explanation of our experience with each is warranted to understand my change in view.  Some “tips” will be found at the end of this post.

First, the Superliner Bedroom with private bath seemed like a great idea.  No mingling, and with your own private bath, no waiting in line for your bladder to burst.  Simply close the door and it is completely private.  The seats inside the Superliner Bedroom fold down into a one lower single bunk with a pull-down upper bunk overhead.  Cozy.  Private.  But in fact, we slept not a wink.  The rhythmic clickety-clack you see in the movies is a myth on the Auto Train in a Superliner Bedroom.  The train is pulling a maximum capacity of 320 automobiles in car carrier freight cars and is more than 3/4 of a mile long.  There is a constant tug and pull as all those passenger and freight cars rock and roll.  The Superliner Bedroom is pretty much like a James Bond martini–shaken, not stirred.  For the quality of the ride it is clearly not worth the price, aggravation, and discomfort.  To make matters worse, because there are 320 automobiles on the train being offloaded one at a time, we waited almost three hours in the station for our car to finally make an appearance.  It was a simply awful experience and I swore we would never subject ourselves to it again.

However, after experiencing the horror of driving to Florida via I-95 right after Christmas (bumper-to-bumper in both lanes, 85 mph or the car behind you practically crawled up your tailpipe, and incessant delays from the predictably high number of fender benders, and heaven help you if there is any kind of bad weather), the Auto Train was starting to look better.  Our second attempt several years later was in Business Class.  In theory, there is more legroom than on an airplane (there is), and possibly in Coach.  Our intent was to simply recline the seat back, curl up, and sleep all the way to Florida.  You can read the details of that road to hell on one of my previous posts.  Unfortunately, in Business Class you hear everyone snoring along with other even less desirable biological noises, being constantly bumped by people trying to walk around in a moving train as they head to the bathroom or just go for a stroll to talk to other people while you’re trying to sleep.  Throw into the mix seats that had at most 1/2″ thick padding and, by the time we arrived in Florida, I was so numb it felt like my ass had fallen off — I could feel nothing below the waist!.  We swore we’d never do it again (famous last words).

But alas, there was yet one more Pit of Misery (Dilly, Dilly !) we hadn’t tried — the Superliner Roomette.  Picture a phone booth with bunk beds.  Before bedtime, you had two very comfortable recliners facing each other across a window.  After diner at bedtime, the steward folded the seats into one long lower bunk (putting a thin mattress over it to cover the small spaces between seat cushions–quite comfortable actually) and there was a pull-down upper bunk made up the same way.  In fact, Heide and I both slept like babies.  We didn’t feel the terrible shaking we had experienced years before in the more expensive Superliner Bedroom with bath.  It was an amazingly comfortable, pleasant trip (of course, it helped my mental state that the train was actually on time on this trip and the wine at dinner probably helped).

We didn’t miss the private bath because, in truth, who wants to shower in the morning using the tanked water on a train?  More importantly though, I have a theory (you knew I would) about the real difference between the rides.

First, let’s get Business Class and Coach Class off the table.  There is simply no way to get comfortable on those seats given the length of time the trip takes.  Add in the jostling by other people, the auditory bombardment and biologic olfactory apocalypse and it’s quite easy to eliminate that mode of travel.  It was over 18 hours of the most uncomfortable hell imaginable.  No Coach.  No Business Class.

But why, you ask, did we have such different experiences between the trips via the Superliner Bedroom w/bath (hell) and the Superliner Roomette (heaven), aka phone booth with no bath?  Here’s my theory:  the bunks in the Superliner Bedroom are laid out perpendicular to the tracks to make room for the private bathroom.  The bunks in the phone booth sized Roomette are laid out parallel to the tracks.  Now, picture your train under the tree at Christmas.  As the train moves, the couplings between the cars have a little “give” (i.e., they are not a tight, rigid fit).  Consequently, as the train encounters the inconsistencies of the terrain and rails, the train tugs and pulls along its entire 3/4+ mile-long length and results in a lot of movement–both rolling side-to-side and tugging back and forth.  The Superliner Bedroom bunks that are perpendicular to the tracks cause the tug/pull of the train to ROLL your body back and forth all night long–the rolling causes your head to be high one moment and low the next.  It leaves you with the constant feeling that you are going to roll out of bed and thus no sleep.

On the other hand, the Superliner Roomette bunks are parallel to the track and, thus, in line with the tug/pull of the train motion. You are simply being jostled gently from head to toe (rather than rolled side-to-side) and feel perfectly secure in the bunk.  The side to side motion was like being rocked in a cradle.  Frankly, it reminds me of sleeping on our boat at anchor.  We slept like babies.  Wine helps.

One last tip:  Book really early (we book a year in advance) and cough up the $60 for Priority Offloading.  In doing so, yours will be among the first 30 cars off the train at your destination.  Be willing to adjust your travel dates by a few days, if necessary, to get the Priority Offloading — it’s worth it.  When we arrived on the morning of December 28, we had our car and were on our way about 15 minutes after they started unloading vehicles.  I have no doubt that many of our fellow passengers were waiting 2-3 hours to get their cars.

Your mileage may vary.